awt33356's Blog

I love Mr. And Mrs. Butterfly, they are so nice in my lonliness, they are both kind in my darkness, they are inconsiderate to my problems, they are liars when i ask for truth, Mr. And Mrs. Butterflies are those friends, family, individuals who watch others downfall.

I missed all but, my everyday blog thing oh, that's a hell no because it's not for me anymore. I decided to be more out going and start trying to make more friends on here since like most left lol! SO, it's a new day and new problems! Oi if that wasn't true. Luv ya and I'm glad to be back.

Im a little disappointed for not making a hundread but hey. Love you all and i said a offical good bye in a story. God bless and thank you my fans and ep family.

Well ive been in those im bored and really i dont want to be seen or talked to much but at this moment im happy. So glad to be back.

10.) what does the title mean? Its my way of sighing or relieving stress.
9.)why did it take you so long to post?
I just got my permit today! Wo!
8.) how are you today?
O kind of a simple question but to be honest i need someone to force me down and take advantage of me!
6&7.)
Why so many whoe comments?
Because im very open with my feelings plus i always want to be hones t with you!
5&4.)what are you wearing? ;)
Nothing....joking clothes tight you can see almost everything clothes.
3.) What do you think of rihanna and chris brown?
I think they grown up a bit. Just stay away from grammys and cars.
2.) what do you think of jay-z and beyonces baby?
Its going to be arrogant and stupid(like kim and kanyes) but it will not bring me as much entertainment as the Kanye & kim baby.
1.) by God why are you doing this?
Because i have fun with this and if it makes someone smile once then i feel a lot better. Till next time!

I know its been a good few days but ive had some thinking. I also need questions but i digress. Top ten tmrw but i got this new saying that touched me deeply and i like to share it.
You shoulnt take your own life because how do you know it wont get better. It hit me like i believe that and touched me. Thank you and my days off are gone.

Ive reached number 69 on blogs ya!!!! To celebrate ill let you guys imagine what i look like and me in the 69 position. ;) good luck!

Everytime i sleep i think of the same story, the same imaginary abuse i want yet dont. Goodness i need something else need laptop so i can write it out or ill move on to the next thing i think of. Lol bad me.

I had a good nap and feel so much better, God today was tiring i need someone to talk too!

Well this day was tiresome, this Vay-K was horrible from top to bottom but i gots my money so ya!!! God be with me, the mistress wants control but i shall continue to deny not now.

Well this is my good nite to some, well where im at its one 11 so good morning to others and to those remaining good afternoon. I love ya all and i hOpe God blesses you.

I need questions!!! I dont want you all bored reading my top 10 every week without you participating or do you???

O i dont think i ever explained!!!! How rude of me!
Meville was the place where i offically split into many personalities. I named them some took up more. Many came and went but whats left are 3.
There was innocence-3T
Anger,depression-phoenix
The body and mind-my name
The soul-no name present
Lust,sinful,dirty minded-big daddi
My charisma and outstanding personality-my initals
Now:
Lust, dirty mind, sin-the Mistress
Pain, anger, innocence, rebellious-phoenix(one two orginal remaining)
Happy(not there on purpose), depression, soul, body, partial mind(other two personalities have a piece)
Remaining emotions
Love-never want to give it again for now
Memory-dont want it for now. Thats the current position of Meville.

Why cant i simply be happy? Why do i have to feel so miserable? I deal with depression alone, i deal with to much bullshit and yet i have to be around ppl. I dont want to i want to be alone not around anyone. I dont want people seeing my weakness, i dont want others to understand. Why im the way i am i want someone to kill time with. What am i becoming the reformation of meville is it? O dear God i cant be gettig that lonely. Maybe. ♪───Ｏ（≧∇≦）Ｏ────♪ im just imagining things. Right?

I feel so lonely but im too shy to bother anyone else. *sigh* guess ill stay on a little longer, i guess ill just stay on and answer questions or just keep reading manga. Today so slow its good yet bad. No i should say its bitter sweet.

Ooooooo i knew you all missed me!!! <3 ya all anyway...
Ive been thinking(i know at least one person said uh oh) wat i should do today no computer, nobody is half decent in this fraking community, and tv is so dull. I love ep but i want some excitment, all kinds, its dull in ga and ga sucks. I need someone to talk dirty too! Its the vacation and i have no one i care much about around me. I want to talk about someones life, problems, make jokes, we talk about me. *sigh* is this a naïve dream?

What is it that controls me a fear of tomorrow or a the pain of the past
Whatever it is it makes me want to go over to the other side
Is death true life or is life truly death
Is this my trial or tribulation?
Is it worth the belief or is it a facade?
Why do i live? Why do i breath? Why do i hate? Why do i love?
Heaven, hell, or inbetween life is a choice.
Which shall it be? Is it for me? Is there a hell ill be in or a paradise waiting?
One day we shall see when will that day be? Im sorry but you ask that person in the mirror if that day is today?

Well after my return i thought lets have fun. Well lets see. I know
What are my weaknesses?
Large pets, hate them i ah! I also cant have shell fish because im allergic plus its nasty! Last my greatest weakness is someone stronger then me. You see if someone holds me down im pretty much at there mercy because i guess its out of habit but i shut down and wont fight back. Though it never leads anywhere(disappointing), but if someone does that i do wateva they want. To be honest i like the feeling of being powerless and letting someone control me, its also one of my few turn on's ;). But remember you never heard that from me.

Well still no Pms for questions so here go.
1.) do you feel obama is a bad president?
Not in the least bit he is a great president who tries his hardest but the republicans are hindering his cause.
2.) who are you listening to now?
Lil Kim of course notorious Kim!!!
3.) how do you feel about gay marriage?
Well even though it goes against what most religious figures say they have the right to, or that's discrimination andif you don't accept it put it in writting or don't bitch!
4.)how was your day?
Good it was fun for the most part but my computer broke down now I'm on my iPod :( but thank God I'm alive.
5.) what's the difference between reading anime and watching manga??
Well it's vice versa you read manga and watch anime.
6.)whats your favorite postition?
Anyway as long as I like the other if not, the position I like is with that person getting the money after they are finished.
7.) what do you think of Kanye and Kim's baby?
I think it will be the dumbest most arrogant baby.
8.) why do you friend the people you do?
Because they are all nice people I bet I wish I actually hope we all get to know each other.
9.) what is your sexual preference since you change so much?
I have to officially say I'm bi-sexual for now. Will i admit to people now I'm just straight. Because I lean more towards straight but I hate to admit it I love when I have a guy make me feel weak. It makes me melt!! Whoa, but prefer women because they are amazing much more then guys. So that's why I say bi!
10.) how do you feel about people?
I feel that everyone is equal and i dont care who you are or what you are, I hate you all equally because I'm a honest jerk. Now if we become friends that just may change.