awt33356's Blog


What can I say, it's so weird to be back here. Nothing changed yet everything did. I either grew up too much or never grew up at all. I am 18 now, I left this site slowly at about 16. It saved me during one of the darkest moment in my life and it also showed me how bad somone you care for can hurt me. I've grown up taking a rather longer road, had a few internet bf's and now gotta decide life. The title comes from a Lily Allen song, I'm so different now, should I just start anew? Just forget everything and create a new thing because I feel maybe it's a new me? Who knows, maybe maybe not, but I don't decide I just move with the time.


Hello everyone, sorry I haven't properly talked to any of you truly in a long time or ever but, I've been going through a lot and I do hope to get to know you all. So, much has happened and I just don't really know how to take it. Its funny, I used to vent so, much on here but, now I don't get on. But, I've decided that I should so, I hope to get to know each one of you all over, for the first time, or once again. I hope all are doing well!

"Don't let me get me,"

I feel that the day has been amazing but, again I wonder am I really satisfied with what I have. I have a I want more craving; Though it may seem selfish but, really for once don't I deserve it! Don't I deserve a day to have with not spoils of candy, and food. I want to be spoiled with love. But, I'm stuck reading manga and stuck on will love every hit me. Hit me and let the person of my dreams fall for me! Let someone give a damn and say hey I like you in person. Or will it just leave me waiting on love. Not because I'm scared but, because I don't want to end up losing a friend. Because if i do, I surely will get me.

Well what a great day so, far!

Like i was so, happy until a little discovery. Guess that happens I hope everyone else has a good day too!

The return

The world changes and so, have I! Oi, its been so, long since I've been on here. I hope some of the people I talk to come one occasionally. I feel that this place has changed so, much in the time I've been gone twice lol. So, much happens and so, much hasn't. But, with me everything happens! What to do? Move to the next, cry quickly, pick your head up because not many pity, and get ready for the next thing. Interesting, it is so, very easy to articulate on a simple blog not many will see yet in real world, I won't say my mind and heart for nothing. I'm in love with my best friend who seems like he may know and put distance inbetween us. I don't know but, I hate it. Now it seems my friends all fade away except the four and I'm stuck alone. In a dark hell that is my true self. Not yet I say, hoping that we won't have to meet just yet but, I know, I know that I can't run forever.

The tale of Mr. And Mrs. Butterfly

I love Mr. And Mrs. Butterfly, they are so nice in my lonliness, they are both kind in my darkness, they are inconsiderate to my problems, they are liars when i ask for truth, Mr. And Mrs. Butterflies are those friends, family, individuals who watch others downfall.

Well I'm back!

I missed all but, my everyday blog thing oh, that's a hell no because it's not for me anymore. I decided to be more out going and start trying to make more friends on here since like most left lol! SO, it's a new day and new problems! Oi if that wasn't true. Luv ya and I'm glad to be back.

Good bye!!

Im a little disappointed for not making a hundread but hey. Love you all and i said a offical good bye in a story. God bless and thank you my fans and ep family.

Pon de replay

Well ive been in those im bored and really i dont want to be seen or talked to much but at this moment im happy. So glad to be back.

Top 10 ide mai

10.) what does the title mean? Its my way of sighing or relieving stress.
9.)why did it take you so long to post?
I just got my permit today! Wo!
8.) how are you today?
O kind of a simple question but to be honest i need someone to force me down and take advantage of me!
Why so many whoe comments?
Because im very open with my feelings plus i always want to be hones t with you!
5&4.)what are you wearing? ;)
Nothing....joking clothes tight you can see almost everything clothes.
3.) What do you think of rihanna and chris brown?
I think they grown up a bit. Just stay away from grammys and cars.
2.) what do you think of jay-z and beyonces baby?
Its going to be arrogant and stupid(like kim and kanyes) but it will not bring me as much entertainment as the Kanye & kim baby.
1.) by God why are you doing this?
Because i have fun with this and if it makes someone smile once then i feel a lot better. Till next time!

A saying.

I know its been a good few days but ive had some thinking. I also need questions but i digress. Top ten tmrw but i got this new saying that touched me deeply and i like to share it.
You shoulnt take your own life because how do you know it wont get better. It hit me like i believe that and touched me. Thank you and my days off are gone.


Ive reached number 69 on blogs ya!!!! To celebrate ill let you guys imagine what i look like and me in the 69 position. ;) good luck!


Everytime i sleep i think of the same story, the same imaginary abuse i want yet dont. Goodness i need something else need laptop so i can write it out or ill move on to the next thing i think of. Lol bad me.

Citty nap!

I had a good nap and feel so much better, God today was tiring i need someone to talk too!


Well this day was tiresome, this Vay-K was horrible from top to bottom but i gots my money so ya!!! God be with me, the mistress wants control but i shall continue to deny not now.

Good nite

Well this is my good nite to some, well where im at its one 11 so good morning to others and to those remaining good afternoon. I love ya all and i hOpe God blesses you.

Welcome to my madness btw...

I need questions!!! I dont want you all bored reading my top 10 every week without you participating or do you???

What is Meville?

O i dont think i ever explained!!!! How rude of me!
Meville was the place where i offically split into many personalities. I named them some took up more. Many came and went but whats left are 3.
There was innocence-3T
The body and mind-my name
The soul-no name present
Lust,sinful,dirty minded-big daddi
My charisma and outstanding personality-my initals
Lust, dirty mind, sin-the Mistress
Pain, anger, innocence, rebellious-phoenix(one two orginal remaining)
Happy(not there on purpose), depression, soul, body, partial mind(other two personalities have a piece)
Remaining emotions
Love-never want to give it again for now
Memory-dont want it for now. Thats the current position of Meville.

Its me myself and i...why am i not happy with that?

Why cant i simply be happy? Why do i have to feel so miserable? I deal with depression alone, i deal with to much bullshit and yet i have to be around ppl. I dont want to i want to be alone not around anyone. I dont want people seeing my weakness, i dont want others to understand. Why im the way i am i want someone to kill time with. What am i becoming the reformation of meville is it? O dear God i cant be gettig that lonely. Maybe. ♪───O(≧∇≦)O────♪ im just imagining things. Right?


I feel so lonely but im too shy to bother anyone else. *sigh* guess ill stay on a little longer, i guess ill just stay on and answer questions or just keep reading manga. Today so slow its good yet bad. No i should say its bitter sweet.

1-20 of 78 Blogs   

Previous Posts
Smile, posted February 23rd, 2015
Well,, posted November 7th, 2013
"Don't let me get me,", posted October 29th, 2013
Well what a great day so, far!, posted October 25th, 2013
The return, posted October 24th, 2013
The tale of Mr. And Mrs. Butterfly, posted June 12th, 2013
Well I'm back!, posted June 1st, 2013
Good bye!!, posted March 11th, 2013
Pon de replay, posted March 8th, 2013
Top 10 ide mai, posted March 1st, 2013
A saying., posted February 28th, 2013
69, posted February 25th, 2013
Dreamin', posted February 25th, 2013
Citty nap!, posted February 24th, 2013
Ladidadee, posted February 23rd, 2013
Good nite, posted February 23rd, 2013
Welcome to my madness btw..., posted February 22nd, 2013
What is Meville?, posted February 22nd, 2013
Its me myself and i...why am i not happy with that?, posted February 22nd, 2013
Bitter-N-Sweet, posted February 22nd, 2013
Vay-K, posted February 22nd, 2013
Thoughts poetry writing these are a part of me?, posted February 21st, 2013
My kryptonite!!, posted February 21st, 2013
The ***** is back(sorry ive been gone), posted February 21st, 2013
Top 10:two, posted February 15th, 2013
Happy whateva the f' it is, posted February 14th, 2013
*****, Bi, Me, WTF...Is wrong with my mind and body..., posted February 13th, 2013
*sigh*, posted February 13th, 2013
The Grammy's/My Day, posted February 11th, 2013
Next Lifetime, posted February 10th, 2013
Love & Awards, posted February 10th, 2013
A Lovers tale, posted February 9th, 2013
Now.., posted February 9th, 2013
Dreams......, posted February 9th, 2013
Finished Songwriting!!, posted February 9th, 2013
Top 10:1, posted February 8th, 2013
Countdown, posted February 8th, 2013
Baduizm & Welcome to New Amerykah Part One (4th World War), posted February 7th, 2013
Blog! Blog! Blog!, posted February 6th, 2013
Askin' None them Questions., posted February 6th, 2013
Understand This..., posted February 5th, 2013
212, posted February 5th, 2013
Who needs love?!, posted February 2nd, 2013
lalala, posted February 2nd, 2013
Boooooooooooooorrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddddd, posted February 2nd, 2013
Shy., posted February 2nd, 2013
Church...Next time read my bible at home., posted February 2nd, 2013
Happy...YA!, posted February 1st, 2013
Happy...YA!, posted February 1st, 2013
Luv!?!?, posted January 30th, 2013
1-50 of 80 Blog Posts   

Here are some friends' blogs...

How to Embed Photos in your Blog Embed Photos How to Embed Videos in your Blog Embed Videos