My Mind pt. 1 | awt33356's Blog

Listening to Mariah Carey Heartbreaker ft. Da Brat(at-a-tat-tat) and missy Elliott. Love that song. It warms my heart. I makes me happy, I'm obsessed with music. I guess life's going good. No ergs to runaway after my birthday. So far no whorish tendency's except one or two gestures and a lot of you really should understand I want a quickie but, you don't so I look stupid. Maybe I'm a stupid love hopeful, but I hate couples. I'm envious and jealous of them. Call me petty or too young I could care less. I want love, from somebody. I'm I guess bi at the moment. I say I guess because it's more I use peoples bodies to satisfy myself in a ecstasy(sex) for a  moment. I used to often give it up but, for now I'll wait. Again call me a whore, a dumb person, your bodies a temple. Heard it all before and I'm not afraid of words. I lie and say I'm straight but, now that I think of it what...Anyway I may want to leave soon, explore the world understand myself better. I get stuck with others decisions and I want to be free. Two years seems to long, am I want to leave and take my chances with the world. Is that bad on my part? I don't care. I can't deal with all this, my mind wants something that's "wrong." I actually began arguing with him again. I thought he was gone but, he is real the bad me is back. HAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHA! He tells me to just leave, just meet the world. He wants freedom he wants me to take off the mask and assimilate with him once again. I can't it is a choice I won't make again.