What's on my mind. | awt33356's Blog

Fighting lessons went well, can't have a weak sister. Today's been another day where I lied to myself saying I was fine to everyone. Well I feel better me and my friend talked about religion and her utter distaste with her exes boyfriend. She is so funny, well I hope...I hope that I will keep my faith for as long as I live and maybe it may change her view slowly. So bored, wish something in my life would go wrong. Me getting raped, becoming some sex slave or something along those lines. Call me a whore, a bitch, gay again don't give a fuck. I'm sick of this plain boring life. I want to be in a life where I make people love me with looks. I feel ugly and disappointed with my facial features i'm sick to my stomach with it sometimes. I want this so much because; I'm sick of waiting for love from anyone and for somebody to pay attention to me. So, I want to escape this boring asinine life that I know live following what other people tell me what to do and what others expect me to take from them. I accept and I do accept that flaw but, may God forgive me once I find a ounce of freedom because I can't hide these sexual adventures I want and I need someone to fulfill them or at least keep me close and talk to me when my mind is all jumbled and plagued with these thoughts. It's said that I give advice about this but, that is fading too. So I'm asking you, please give me some light or your opinion or even a comment. I may seem like i'm crazy or mean through my post but, i'm very nice. Please someone, I usually don't take advice much so I'm sorry if I seem desperate and weird. It's one of the few times. Thanks.

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